At Waipuna Hospice we know that dying looks different for everyone. We believe in providing people-centred care that is tailored to the unique needs of each individual, rather than simply treating the disease.
This is something that the Benvies have experienced firsthand.
Earlier this year, the Benvie family received news that no family ever wants to hear. Grahame, devoted husband, beloved father, and cherished Pop had been diagnosed with stage four cancer. The news hit them hard, leaving them feeling lost and unsure where to turn for help. Facing uncertainty and fear, they found themselves searching for guidance and support. Little did they know, their journey would lead them to Waipuna Hospice.
“Dad’s diagnosis hit us quite hard,” reflects Grahame’s daughter Erin. “We came out of the hospital feeling very lost and were scrambling around trying to find information and advice. Then, Mum and I had a lightbulb moment – we would go to Dad’s GP for advice. It was then that it was suggested that we get in touch with Waipuna Hospice.”
Grahame Benvie in his garden with his daughter Erin Goodhue.
“Initially I thought that hospice was where you went to die, and I was adamant we weren’t at that point. I didn’t want to mention it to Mum and Dad because I thought if I said it out loud it would make it real. I soon realised that wasn’t the case at all.”
Their perception of hospice care changed rapidly. No longer just a place for someone’s final days, hospice became a source of practical assistance and genuine care, offering support every step of the way.
“The first thing hospice did was come and visit us at home,” Erin recalled. “They did an initial consultation so they could meet Dad, understand who he was, his illness, what he might need to be comfortable and see what kind of support he had at home.”
For Gretchen, Grahame’s wife of 52 years, the moment hospice stepped in to ease their struggles was unforgettable. “Grahame was having trouble sleeping in the bed, so we were going out to buy a lazy boy chair,” she shared. “But then someone from Waipuna Hospice explained that they could help. Just like that, a chair was delivered, and it was such a relief.”
As their journey unfolded, the Waipuna Hospice team sprang into action, offering care that extended beyond the physical. Through weekly visits, hospice became a constant presence in their lives.
“It was great to just have somebody come to our home and check-in and talk to us about pain management and emotional support,” recalls Erin. “It was care in our own home, rather than a clinical environment, which was huge for us. What surprised me during that time was that hospice wasn’t just coming to care for Dad, they were coming to care for all of us.”
Grahame and Gretchen (middle) at their 50th wedding anniversary celebration, surrounded by their family – family Grahame says is his inspiration in life.
“It’s so encompassing,” emphasised Gretchen, “and it hasn’t been a one-size-fits-all approach. They didn’t just come in and say, “This is what is going to work for you, this is all we can do.” They tailored it to our needs – to the person, not the disease.”
For Grahame and his family, hospice care became about more than just medical assistance in the face of death. It was about feeling seen and understood as individuals, and in Erin’s words, “It was about life, not just death.”
“Even when they are caring for the patient directly, Waipuna Hospice has a really holistic approach,” Erin continued.
“They see beyond his illness to the person who has lived a very full life and still has life left to live. They provided equipment because that’s important while you’re living. They are helping Dad write his life biography because that’s important while you’re living. They offered counselling because that’s important while you’re living.”
“Hospice isn’t just for the end,” Gretchen shared, her voice filled with conviction. “It’s about supporting you to live. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so we try to enjoy every moment and cherish the time we have together.”
After reflecting on his journey, Grahame echoed Gretchen’s sentiment. “To anyone who finds themselves in my situation, please seek support. Waipuna Hospice is a great place. I initially thought it was just for the end, but the more we had contact with them, the more I realised it was so much more than that. And, individually, have faith and be positive, because every day that you’re standing upright is another day on the earth. And you just never know what that next day is going to bring.”
The Benvie’s story is a powerful example of the impact hospice care can have on families during some of life’s most challenging moments. This Hospice Awareness Week, we’re asking for your support to help ensure that families like the Benvies receive the care and support they need.
Grahame lives by the belief that you never know what tomorrow holds, so make the most of the time you have.
Please donate generously. Your donation will make a real difference in the lives of people just like Grahame, Erin and Gretchen.
Together, we can be there for other families who are adrift with a terminal diagnosis and don’t know where to turn.
Yours sincerely,
Richard Thurlow – Waipuna Hospice CEO
We’d like to thank Grahame, Gretchen and Erin for sharing their story with us and for their kind words.
If you would like to share your story, please click here.
