It’s that time of year when families come together to share food, laughter, and love. But for many in our community, Christmas also brings an empty chair at the table and a longing for someone who is no longer here. It can be a season of both joy and deep sorrow.
This year, after 57 wonderful years together, Jean is facing her first Christmas without her husband, Brian.
Jean and Brian met through Bible Class. They married young, spent time volunteering in Vanuatu, and later took their two sons to live in Papua New Guinea, where they ran a small trucking operation that grew to over 40 trucks. They were a team – partners in everything. When they eventually moved home to New Zealand and took over Brian’s family orchard, life was hard work but full of purpose and love.
In 2016, Brian’s life changed when a doctor discovered his kidneys were failing. Over time, the disease progressed, and Jean found herself becoming his full-time caregiver. She often describes those years as a rollercoaster, filled with moments of hope, worry, and deep love.
What Jean remembers most, isn’t the medical details, it’s the people. The kindness.
They knew Brian’s days were numbered. Sadly, this is a reality the families in our community face. But with your support, Waipuna Hospice can continue to be there for people like Jean and Brian, offering the care and compassion they need when it matters most.
For four years, Brian managed his condition with a strict diet low in sodium and potassium. But as his health declined, the reality of kidney dialysis loomed. Their specialist gently told them that if Brian had anything on his bucket list, now was the time.
They walked out of the hospital, straight into a travel agent, and within half an hour were booked to go to Germany so Brian could fulfil his lifelong dream cruising up the Rhine River. “We left about four weeks later,” Jean says, “and it was absolutely wonderful.”
When they returned home, Brian began dialysis. At first, it gave them a bit of freedom. A portable dialysis machine meant they could still take small trips. Over the next four years, Brian grew weaker. He could no longer spend time out on the orchard with their boys or drive his beloved trucks. He was sleeping more and more, and Jean found herself taking on the full weight of his care. The pressure was growing, and although she was determined to look after him, she often felt unsure how she would manage on her own.
That’s when Waipuna Hospice stepped in.
From the moment hospice became involved, Jean felt surrounded by a team who understood. Waipuna worked hand-in-hand with Brian’s renal nurse, the hospital, and their GP. Everyone collaborating to make sure the family was supported in every way possible.
“From there,” Jean says, “it was all taken out of my hands. I didn’t have to make decisions; I could just be Brian’s wife again. But hospice always made sure I was comfortable with everything, if I said no to something, they found another way.”
At Waipuna Hospice, we know that knowledge brings peace of mind. When you’re losing someone you love, the emotions alone can be overwhelming and all the medical jargon can make it even harder to take in. That’s why we provide simple, compassionate advice using pamphlets, videos, and practical guides. These help families understand what’s happening and how to care with confidence, making an incredibly difficult time just a little easier to navigate.
Jean remembers this part vividly. “I had some slippery sheets to help turn Brian in bed, but I had no idea how to use them,” she says. “My hospice nurse Pam gave me access to a video, and my daughter-in-law Emma and I watched it together. That video got us through Christmas. It meant we could keep Brian comfortable at home, and that was everything.”
Pam also got Jean set up with everything she needed. “The guys came with a bed, and it was just like that – I didn’t have to wait a week, it was just there. Then every morning about 9am, someone from hospice would phone me, ask how I was, and what I needed. It felt like hospice were looking after me too.”
Jean was also given pamphlets to help her recognise the signs that the end might be near. “No one could tell me when it was coming, only God knows. But those pamphlets were wonderful. I could have a cup of tea and read about what to do and what not to do.”
One day, Brian turned to Jean and said, “I think I’m dying,” and all she could do was agree. It was a Tuesday. Their sons were home, and Jean noticed Brian’s fingers going white. She called the boys in, and Brian passed away peacefully in his sleep, at home, surrounded by love.
For Jean, that peaceful goodbye meant everything. “I’m truly blessed to have had him at home,” she says. “Hospice made that possible. We could be together as a family, without hospital rules or visiting hours. It was on our terms.”
Now, as Christmas approaches, Jean isn’t sure how she will feel. “There’s a big hole in my house and in my heart,” she says softly. “I’d give anything to have one more Christmas with my Brian. But I’m so grateful that hospice helped me have our last one together.”
Will you help us make a difference for more people like Jean and Brian this Christmas?
Your generosity ensures that families in our community receive the care, compassion, and education they need, and the chance to spend their final moments together, surrounded by love.
Please consider donating this Christmas. Your kindness means no one has to face the end of life or grief alone.
We want to say a huge thank you to Jean for sharing her story with us.
Please make a donation today. Your generosity ensures Waipuna Hospice can continue providing wrap-around compassionate care to those in our community who need it most